Do You Live Your Story?

I never heard the term story, as in living in your story, until I was in my fifties. Wow! The earlier in life you understand what your story is and how to never live there again (or in any other story, for that matter) the sooner your life moves into flow.

Okay, so what is a story?

Did you ever ask someone how they are doing and they dive into their latest drama in full detail? As a matter of fact, most people tell the same “poor me” story all their lives – even though it may have happened fifty years ago!

Actually, in all likelihood their story never happened at all. Their story is their interpretation, what they made up, about an event. Their story is their version, their view of something that happened.

Negative hurtful interpretations of events run people’s lives into the ground. They become victims who dig themselves deeper and deeper into the abyss. Before long they cannot even see any light. They live in the darkness of “woe is me.”

Do you know anyone like that? With every new person they meet they rehash that same story.

If that person is you then choose to stop energizing your past.

Your past cannot survive unless you fuel memories to raise it from the dead and keep it alive. To accomplish that end you must steal the energy you need for living in the present moment. The consequence of that action is slow deterioration of your health.

You read that right–living in your story not only keeps you stuck but actually kills you little by little.

If you know someone who constantly tells you about the awful treatment they received from someone or something then serve them by refusing to listen. Listen to them once or twice but if they try to repeat the circumstance let them know you love them too much to see them bury themselves in victimhood. Besides, it feels quite unpleasant being around people like that.

Tell them, “No more stories. Come live in the here and now.” Or…

Invite them to tell you their story non-stop, over and over again right now. (I know this sounds like a sacrifice on your part. Realize you may serve them in this moment so they never want to tell anyone their tale again!)

You see, what happens when someone tells their grievous story the first time or two or maybe even three they may cry or become teary-eyed. However, with each telling they will hear themselves differently – and you will too. They will start laughing at the ludicrous behavior of repeating such a story.

You will both laugh out loud at some point and you will have helped them break that disempowering habit! Now that constitutes one priceless gift.

Now why didn’t I know about that technique when I as a psychotherapist?

About Ali Bierman

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6 Responses to Do You Live Your Story?

  1. Vanessa says:

    Great post, another technique I learned while attending a seminar is the tell the story from different attitudes. (angry, sad, happy, in an operatic voice and so forth). The story then looses the power it once had. Great post, really enjoyed it.

    • Ali Bierman says:

      Oh fabulous! Thanks for sharing, Vanessa. That has to work too. I bet that is also a load of fun. Getting rid of pain using fun methods works whereas talking abut a painful situation just focuses on the pain making it all bigger!

  2. That last line left me laughing my head off!!

    What a great post. I”m sharing it everywhere! Thanks!

    • Ali Bierman says:

      Wait until you actually do the exercise, Martha–if you think reading about it is amusing. Usually people begin to tell their story through tears with anger attached, frustration disappointment–all kinds of not-feel–good emotions. By the end they are laughing so loudly—they get to see how ludicrous their story is. Those stories ran their lives and they are all nonsense having nothing to do with what really happened!

  3. Actually- you can live your story- the one you WANT to live. You just keep your history (or herstory) as part of your past. The past your learned from and let go.

    • Ali Bierman says:

      I see your point, Roy. I guess that is what so many personal development coaches teach–create your day, your perfect day, and live it. They also say to fake it until you make it. those techniques, IMHO, are just another story.
      What I didn’t say here the only real time that exists is the NOW. Events just are and have no innate meaning. So there is no story because a story involves making up something about what happened.
      See what I mean?

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