Making the decision to stay home with your kids is a huge one–and definitely not appropriate for every woman. In my personal and professional experience I’ve seen some women who definitely should not raise kids.
What many people fail to realize is that you are your child’s role model.
Your kids will always and only do what you do not what you say. I tell you that fact not to add pressure, just to make certain you know your behaviors register with your kids – all your behaviors including your word choice!
In a nutshell, here is the reality of a stay-at-home-mom. No one “gets” this state except for another stay-at-home mom.
When your kids are young and at home you get no coffee breaks, no drive home from work to chill out, no way to leave your problems outside the door, no door to the office to shut when done.
Being a stay-at-home mom is a 24/7/365 job forever. No kidding. Your adult kids never outgrow their need for you not just as Mom but sometimes as Mommy.
That is reality.
Think about your day…is it fair that your job runs 24 hours a day while your partner works 9-5 plus a commute? It takes two to make a child and two need to participate in raising that child from the beginning—not just later when the kids are older and do “more interesting” things.
Your spouse is not a mind reader.
You must talk about how you feel and ask for help. Look at it this way, if you burnout or get so run down you wind up sick and unable to function, what happens to your kids? What happens to your family?
I don’t know about you but I spoke “childese” all the time. Hey, your spouse gets to speak “adult” all day!
Your life will never be truly comprehensible to him. All you can do is state your needs clearly.
One of my friends had an agreement with her husband. When he got home she went off to meditate for 25 minutes. Period. Set in stone. That made a huge difference for her which impacted the entire family and you know it kept the peace in the house.
Please, Moms, take care of yourself.
Not speaking up correlates with the high incidence of female cancers. I lost three friends this past year and two more survived breast cancer!
Loving yourself first is not selfish. It is mandatory.