Mother-Son Relationship: My Revelation

My son and I enjoy a close relationship that started in my forth month of pregnancy. Whenever I consumed alcohol (this was back before anyone knew even occasional drinks are unwise during pregnancy) my baby growing inside me had a very bad experience. He became very active in a way that definitely differed from his normal business.

After his birth our connection became apparent. He rarely cried. I always awakened just before him during the night. I was standing by his crib when he opened his eyes—every time. I scooped him up into my arms and nursed him.

Our relationship continued as a no-need-to speak communication process as he grew.

I admit I never understood our deep connection—the why or how. I was very grateful to experience our mutual love, respect, and honor. And I never knew the depth or breadth of our relationship until just now.

I never had a fear of heights. As a kid I rode roller coasters.

When my son told me he was afraid of heights and later told me why, a very surprising thing happened to me. I developed those same fears. Weird, huh?

Some years ago my son (now in his thirties) developed an allergy to nuts. He grew up eating peanut butter and other nut butters every day. Suddenly he could no longer eat nuts at all!

Last time I saw him he surprised me by telling me he no longer eats pizza – because he is now allergic to dairy. My son grew up loving pizza!

Why tell you about his dietary changes? Because I suddenly developed those same allergies – suddenly, at the age of 60! And I am not talking slight discomforts. I am talking major severe allergic reactions!

But wait, that strange health journey took me down an unexpected path, away from the optimal radiant health I knew for so many years. I developed numbness in my fingers that slowly ran up my hands and arms.

My son went through the same numbness issues when he was fighting his personal choice to play drumset, jazz and shows rather than continue his previous dream of being a concert timpanist. When he made the choice to follow his heart his hands healed.

When I saw how my health imitated my son’s pattern I realized I too was pursuing a path that can take me to my heart’s desire BUT this path is not the most direct path there. Like my son, my spiritual path got overrun by my ego trying to keep me stuck in my very uncomfortable comfort zone.

Thankfully I see the connections in our lifelong relationship. My disconnects reflect his in a remarkably similar way. Knowing how he changed his life allows me to take a shortcut in changing my own.

What patterns do you see running in your own family? Are they healthy or do they create problems for individual family members? Join the conversation with a reply below.

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About Ali Bierman

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7 Responses to Mother-Son Relationship: My Revelation

  1. This is certainly an unusual story! (and not the norm for most parents and children).

    Have you ever thought about what “caused” your strong bond? Ever researched it? Just curious.

    Something you mentioned really rang true for me — the numbness in your son’s hands until he decided to pursue a life filled with what he wanted and what his gifts were. I believe wholeheartedly that inner stress and turmoil (caused by NOT living our purpose and what brings us joy) will manifest itself physically, not just mentally or emotionally. I have seen this in my own life and the lives of my friends — it’s scary what we can do to ourselves!

    Very interesting post.

    • ajb says:

      Yes, Cathy. we create (with much assistance from the Universe) the pain discomforts, injuries–even the big bites– to awaken us to what we neglect to see in our lives. When we fail to live the life and purpose our souls chose to learn in this lifetime we create the issues to direct our attention specifically to those areas. that deal with those issues.
      Each body part has a unique role and meaning for us. The body is absolutely a metaphor for what you live spiritually, emotionally and physically

    • ajb says:

      Oh, the connection between my son and me…I know we lived lifetimes together, Souls usually travel in soul groups.
      Did you ever meet someone and feel like you always knew them? That’s the reason–you recognize the Divine SPirit within the person rather than just see the human suit. My son alsp had a special relationship with my mom that I never understood.
      I think his very deep sensitivity and deep level connections make him such an amazing musician and composer.

  2. The most sensitive part of the mother and son comes when a woman becomes his life is his girlfriend or wife. This is a time when almost every mother begins to feel uncertain and changing apprehension. Being the only woman in the life of her son, she has to share love with someone that is so important in the life of your child like her. It is time for the child to her mother that she has been and will always be the most special person in your life and that another person cannot take place. On the other hand, the mother should also understand that should stop keeping your child all the time and let go.

    • Ali Bierman says:

      In a healthy relationship, the job of the mom is to raise an independent child. When my kids went off to school I knew they had left home forever. I celebrated a job well done! Not sure what you interpreted. there is no problem or heart tug here. I love
      my daughter-in-law.

  3. It is a very unusual bonding, I hope that it does not affect your son’s relationships with his wife/girlfriend etc.

    • Ali Bierman says:

      Actually it is not uncommon among families who raise their kids with the same philosophy as ours. Lots of love tends to create very intelligent caring and successful adults-who remain close as a family unit.

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