My son and I enjoy a close relationship that started in my forth month of pregnancy. Whenever I consumed alcohol (this was back before anyone knew even occasional drinks are unwise during pregnancy) my baby growing inside me had a very bad experience. He became very active in a way that definitely differed from his normal business.
After his birth our connection became apparent. He rarely cried. I always awakened just before him during the night. I was standing by his crib when he opened his eyes—every time. I scooped him up into my arms and nursed him.
Our relationship continued as a no-need-to speak communication process as he grew.
I admit I never understood our deep connection—the why or how. I was very grateful to experience our mutual love, respect, and honor. And I never knew the depth or breadth of our relationship until just now.
I never had a fear of heights. As a kid I rode roller coasters.
When my son told me he was afraid of heights and later told me why, a very surprising thing happened to me. I developed those same fears. Weird, huh?
Some years ago my son (now in his thirties) developed an allergy to nuts. He grew up eating peanut butter and other nut butters every day. Suddenly he could no longer eat nuts at all!
Last time I saw him he surprised me by telling me he no longer eats pizza – because he is now allergic to dairy. My son grew up loving pizza!
Why tell you about his dietary changes? Because I suddenly developed those same allergies – suddenly, at the age of 60! And I am not talking slight discomforts. I am talking major severe allergic reactions!
But wait, that strange health journey took me down an unexpected path, away from the optimal radiant health I knew for so many years. I developed numbness in my fingers that slowly ran up my hands and arms.
My son went through the same numbness issues when he was fighting his personal choice to play drumset, jazz and shows rather than continue his previous dream of being a concert timpanist. When he made the choice to follow his heart his hands healed.
When I saw how my health imitated my son’s pattern I realized I too was pursuing a path that can take me to my heart’s desire BUT this path is not the most direct path there. Like my son, my spiritual path got overrun by my ego trying to keep me stuck in my very uncomfortable comfort zone.
Thankfully I see the connections in our lifelong relationship. My disconnects reflect his in a remarkably similar way. Knowing how he changed his life allows me to take a shortcut in changing my own.
What patterns do you see running in your own family? Are they healthy or do they create problems for individual family members? Join the conversation with a reply below.
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