Love and hate are not opposite emotions. They are two ends of a continuum. Yes, both exhibit the same emotion.
You meet someone new and immediately feel a gut reaction of hatred toward that person. Why?
Firstly note I pointed out your experience as a reaction.
Reactions happen when something about the person or situation triggers a memory within you.
On a subconscious, and sometimes conscious level, you interpret some aspect of the person or situation to be like one you previously experienced that had a less than desirable outcome for you or someone you know.
Yet that scenario describes only one possibility.
The more likely possibility is that you see in this new person a part of you that you choose not to acknowledge. The very interesting piece to note is that others are fully aware that you exhibit the behavior pattern you find abhorring in this new individual. However, you have no clue that you too act, think or feel that way.
A very vivid example is a person who walks into the home of another and immediately feels repulsed, even sick to his stomach, by the odors in the house. Maybe there is pet odor. Maybe there is mold. Whatever—this person smells a pungent unpleasant odor n the home of the other person.
What that person fails to see, or should I say smell, is that his own house wreaks with a repulsive odor that keeps visitors away.
Or maybe one person feels turned off by an individual who exhibits impatience while failing to see how jittery he gets whenever he has to wait for anything, including waiting in line at the grocery store.
What I noticed in my own life is that when I meet someone for whom I feel an immediate dislike rather than avoid that person I step back and look inside myself to determine what is it that I see in this individual that also exists in me and I no way want to know about it?
I really do that process – have for years. For me the results have been amazing. People who I may have avoided forever usually become my friends and I feel a personal growth spurt in who I am and how I am in the world.
The more I look within the farther along the continuum my marker moves away from hate toward love.
I am not saying that person ever reaches the love end for me. I am saying they no longer fall into the hate category.
Take a look at the people or events you now label as people and things you hate. Then look inside yourself to discover why you feel that way. Really. Take time to get clear on exactly what attributes or behaviors you witness in the other then see if perhaps you do the same thing.
You may express that behavior differently yet you still do it causing the same impact on others.
Tomorrow I will reveal the actual opposite of love. Right now, tell me what you think the opposite of love is. Share your thoughts on the subject?
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