Love and Hate: They Are Not Opposite Emotions

Love and hate are not opposite emotions. They are two ends of a continuum. Yes, both exhibit the same emotion.


You meet someone new and immediately feel a gut reaction of hatred toward that person. Why?

Firstly note I pointed out your experience as a reaction.

Reactions happen when something about the person or situation triggers a memory within you.

On a subconscious, and sometimes conscious level, you interpret some aspect of the person or situation to be like one you previously experienced that had a less than desirable outcome for you or someone you know.

Yet that scenario describes only one possibility.

The more likely possibility is that you see in this new person a part of you that you choose not to acknowledge. The very interesting piece to note is that others are fully aware that you exhibit the behavior pattern you find abhorring in this new individual. However, you have no clue that you too act, think or feel that way.

A very vivid example is a person who walks into the home of another and immediately feels repulsed, even sick to his stomach, by the odors in the house. Maybe there is pet odor. Maybe there is mold. Whatever—this person smells a pungent unpleasant odor n the home of the other person.

What that person fails to see, or should I say smell, is that his own house wreaks with a repulsive odor that keeps visitors away.

Or maybe one person feels turned off by an individual who exhibits impatience while failing to see how jittery he gets whenever he has to wait for anything, including waiting in line at the grocery store.

What I noticed in my own life is that when I meet someone for whom I feel an immediate dislike rather than avoid that person I step back and look inside myself to determine what is it that I see in this individual that also exists in me and I no way want to know about it?

I really do that process – have for years. For me the results have been amazing. People who I may have avoided forever usually become my friends and I feel a personal growth spurt in who I am and how I am in the world.

The more I look within the farther along the continuum my marker moves away from hate toward love.

I am not saying that person ever reaches the love end for me. I am saying they no longer fall into the hate category.

Take a look at the people or events you now label as people and things you hate. Then look inside yourself to discover why you feel that way. Really. Take time to get clear on exactly what attributes or behaviors you witness in the other then see if perhaps you do the same thing.

You may express that behavior differently yet you still do it causing the same impact on others.

Tomorrow I will reveal the actual opposite of love. Right now, tell me what you think the opposite of love is. Share your thoughts on the subject?

And please remember to click the “like” button to share this article. Thanks.


About Ali Bierman

<a href="

This entry was posted in emotions, relationships and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

facebook comments:

12 Responses to Love and Hate: They Are Not Opposite Emotions

  1. Nancy Rose says:

    Great reminder that any strong reaction to one event shows there are some internal issues. These events come into our lives so we can become aware of our internal programming and release what no longer works. Sometimes easy, sometimes hard. Thanks.

    • ajb says:

      Very well stated. From what I have read on your blog and your comments I’d say we ars very much of like mind. Nice the way we attract who we are, especially when we like who we are. thanks for sharing your wisdom, Nancy.

  2. Amethyst says:

    “What I noticed in my own life is that when I meet someone for whom I feel an immediate dislike rather than avoid that person I step back and look inside myself to determine what is it that I see in this individual that also exists in me and I no way want to know about it?” Wish I could be so wise.

    I’ll keep trying.

    • ajb says:

      You already are so wise, Amethyst. You noticed, right? How can you change something without knowing there is something you want to change?
      Come back tomorrow to discover the opposite of love.

  3. all three says:

    I didn’t know that.

    • Ali Bierman says:

      Thanks for sharing your thought. Few people ever think about it. I feel stopping to think about what love is and what hate is may help someone see how they really feel about someone or something they think they love or hate. Maybe doing so will change their perspective.

  4. paleo diet says:

    Simply wanna comment about that article, after reading whole of that it generate me to have new eyesight concerning one vital event, hope I can examine more fantastic news again from you so I bookmark your internet site.

    • Ali Bierman says:

      So glad this post made a difference for you right away. Come back for more.Who knows how many life changes you are ready to create and just need a bit of missing info that just may be in some of my other posts.

  5. Ahlem says:

    Hello there, I found your blog via Google while looking for a related topic, your website came up, it looks good. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

    • Ali Bierman says:

      Great, Ahiem. Neat, how we find something we didn’t know we wanted! Come back often–new material every day.

  6. Hi there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it is really informative. I’m going to watch out for brussels. I will appreciate if you continue this in future. Many people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

    • Ali Bierman says:

      Thank you so much for your feedback, Anne-francoise. I intend to keep posting so keep coming back and letting me know what works for you. Also let me know ify ou have any questions that I can answer.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *