Friendships: What Are Friendships About – Really?

Friendships serve  specific  purposes in your  life – the most important ones happen out of your awareness.

People come into your life so you can grow through something you may not even know you want to learn.

Those who stay may become friends while others may disappear as fast as they came regardless of how you feel or whether or not you want those relationships to end.

Every person you encounter reflects a facet of the unique jewel that composes you.

Some facets appear flawed. Of course you are whole and perfect exactly as you, your True Self, is.

Remember that people are individuals with different ways of being in the world.

You wear your set of blinders as to what you accept and expect to see in your reality.
Others wear different blinders.

No two people interpret any individual event exactly the same.

Since interpretations lead to assigning meaning (good or bad, happy or sad, etc.) you will never see exactly eye-to-eye on anything. Sometimes you seem to agree totally yet inside you still experience your own unique reality.

Become aware of how you process your world and seek to understand how others, especially those close to you, the relationships you define as being very important to you (what you see as “keepers”), view their own reality.

You see, what you interpret as hurtful or puzzling behavior (friends who suddenly and silently disappear from your life) merely reflects the personality style, or modus operandi (MO), of that personality style.

What am I talking about?

Are you the person who does all the calling and plan arranging in one (or all) of your friendships? Do you feel annoyed that your friends never call you? Do you feel exasperated when you ca

ll them and they tell you they were meaning to call but were so busy with XYZ?

You get to choose whether you want to feel angry or disappointed in their not (what you may interpret as) keeping up their end of the friendship. OR you can choose to see they live their lives that way. No reflection on how they feel about you.

In my own life, when you

become my friend (I make friends very easily) I see you as a permanent part of my circle—even if I never see you again. Once you touch me emotionally and probably physically too (hugs are not just nice but necessary for well being) I create a special place in my heart for you.

I used to feel hurt when people simply dropped out of my life without any explanation.

No call. No letters. Then I understood I feel life very deeply in a way only others with my personality style

do. And most people do not experience the world this way.

Ah ha! How freeing and life affirming that discovery was for me! Suddenly I felt free to continue to love my dearest friends even though they never call me. They just are not people who call. Yet, when they answer the phone and hear my voice I hear the big smile in their voices and I feel no need to roll my eyes when they tell how often they think about me and think about

calling me – but never do.

Make sense?

When you realize that others do not live in the same world as you, that others operate differently all the time – then your life will change completely.

Friendship will take on a new freeing meaning for you and your life will change dramatically.

Oh yeah, let me repeat my opening premise, you attract people to you so you can grow.

Hmm.

If you keep attracting the same kind of person who treats you the same way know that the Universe is letting you know you have yet to learn the specific lesson you came here to learn.

For me (goodness, I just realized this truth for me) I can tell my friends I want them to call me and I want them to make plans for us to get together instead of leaving it all up to me. That action may cause some friends to go away. So what?

Interesting to note that I do attract guys who call and make plans. My female friends are different.Though recently some of them have been making plans for us. So something changed in my energy and how I am with them.

Since we train people how to treat us by what we accept in their behaviors toward us – well, what do you think about the relationships in your life?

What can you do differently to change who you attract OR alter how those in your life now treat you?

 

 

About Ali Bierman

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8 Responses to Friendships: What Are Friendships About – Really?

  1. Undeniably believe that which you said. Your best reason seemed to be on the web the easiest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I absolutely get irked while people consider worries that they just do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out everything without having side-effect , people can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thank you.

  2. Dobra Muzyka says:

    You really make it seem very easy with your demonstration but I find this matter to be seriously something that I believe I would never understand. It seems too complicated and very broad for me. I’m looking forward for your next blog post.

    • Ali Bierman says:

      It took me years of feeling hurt and confused to come to this clarity. That is why it seems easy for me–finally it is. Let me think about it and what else to write to clarify it for you. Please tell me, specifically, where thr subject feels complicated.

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    • Ali Bierman says:

      See the ermail icon on the top right side bar?P lease email me more info. I do not use AOlL. Let’s see what we can do, okay? I do private consultations and coaching.

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